The Greatest Character in All of Fiction

Ideal for t-shirts, tattoos, and as a model for plastic surgery! The magnificent and splendid Lobot! Able to perform complex calculations in instants, I'm guessing! Loyal to the end, probably! Friendly towards animals, one would like to think! Smooth, calm, and oh-so collected . . . the number one cat we'd all like to be or be with, in all likelihood.

Mr. Parl Steenan Paymbers

There are men you can trust to return what you lend them. There are men you can trust to get you where you need to go. But when it's that one important, vital, dangerous job that needs to get done, the one job above all others whose difficulty can easily be described as astronomical, a job that can send average folks into paroxysms of spasmodic muttering, a job that simply must get done . . .

There's just one man. Mr. Parl Steenan Paymbers. Honest. Forthright. Rugged. Sombre.

Mr. Parl Steenan Paymbers.

The one man you can trust to fuck your wife.

David Pie

Ever wonder why everyone likes pie? Why, for the positive attitude, of course! Take David, here. Separated from his brethren like unanesthetized siamese twins with a dull knife, the best thing he has to look forward to is maybe the soothing cool touch of some French Vanilla ice cream before being torn to pieces and devoured. Will it be slow or fast? The answer is yet unknown. And herein lies his secret: David loves a good mystery! He thrills to potentially learning the truth behind life's great unknowns. Which, for his kind, is pretty much whether you'll be eaten slowly or quickly.

However, what no one actually realizes is that David is allergic to whipped cream. Oh, tonight's dessert is going to be one for the books . . .

Poonis Krond

Yes, it's easy to make fun. After all, "Poonis" is a pretty funny name. But don't you think maybe he's suffered enough? For the luvva Pete, someone dressed this poor fish up in a shirt 'n' pants! That just ain't entirely right . . .

Scort Ruggins

This here's ol' Scort Ruggins. He don't look like much, but that's okay 'cause there ain't much to 'im. Scorty here was born without teeth, which may be a regular thing to do, only he didn't ever grow any in after that neither. Likes a good straw, he does. Pathologically terrified of shirts. Won't have 'em, not for nothin'! Does have one talent though, in that he's a fantastically talented mime. Sad to say, he don't ever get much use o' that, what with his mimin' with such a thick mime-accent as he's got. And folks round here ain't to fond a mime anyhow.

When he talks, it sounds mostly like a feller walkin' on empty tin cans.

Straight Outta the Record Books!

It was a tight contest, with Horst Dubendreiner, the German favourite and a particularly surly rib-end, standing head and shoulders for a while above the rest of the enraged pigflesh, but it was exactly this level of competition that pushed a frustrated Fred over the edge. He threw a tantrum and a hissy-fit, and a bowling ball, and bit of Dubendreiner's left earlobe. What a winner!

Starting This Week! On TV! For sure!

It's North America's favourite ne'er-do-well Brandt Treedman! He's back, and he's Not Quite a Lawyer! See Brandt Treedman slowly consider his next move! Watch Brandt Treedman attempt to defend what would be his client! Witness Brandt Treedman do what he thinks is cross-examining, but bears more resemblance to assembling a cheese sandwich! Ponder Brandt Treedman's general lack of ability!

Not Quite a Lawyer - Only on Television!

The Overlord - Tonight!

A one-page comic I drew and coloured for a rock musical which I will be going to see tonight. Won't you join me?

Still not convinced? Here's my initial drawings of Blacknight and Knightgirl, in preparation for an entire page of drawings, as seen above. Notice how these preparatory drawings seem so much more fun and lively than the finished work. That's frustrating, eh?

The Knightmobile, on the other hand, looks way better in the final piece. Once again, I manage to surprise myself, for good and for ill. If only that were the car I was driving to the show. Still, no reason you shouldn't go. C'mon, take in a play! It's awesome!

Bigface Bare Bones

Why, if it isn't Li'l Jimmy Bigface, only without he ain't got no skin on him. Now where on Heck's Green Earth do you think he woulda left alla that skin 'n' muscles and whatnot what usually goes to makin' up a body's body? I ast him, only he said what how it din't even matter none, as he was done in on all that jazz-around, gonna be livin' his life a dead 'un all from here on out of it. Gonna romp in the deep a the night wit' the others a that sort, devils in diapers, ghostly friends, 'n' all that all.

Me, I'm just gonner lay back and enjoy my unearned riches.

Skelprise!

Ha! This far into November, you thought you were safe at last from skellertons! So not so! This one has clearly snucken on up in back of you, with malice of intent! To scare!

So scared, you are!

A Day for the Dead

I'm not Mexican, nor ever have been, but that's no reason why I can't celebrate November 1st with a funky skellerton. Like this guy.