Clogged drain? No worries!

Just call Mike! Mike Aroni! He's the ginchiest plumber in town! Also tastes delicious in a sweet basil cream sauce, with some shallots maybe . . .

Where's my round piano-organ-thing at? I'm sad.

Hoo hoop hoorah! It's everyone's favourite circular keyboard synthesizer whatsit player: Max Rebo! Max here hails from the planet Krilmo, where all the inhabitants look vaguely like stuffed toys of elephants or something. He likes donuts, soft-serve ice cream, and chesterfields.

It's Tuesday afternoon, you've just skipped outta work early and popped down the pub. And who's already there and had a few, but ol' Dulcie! He'll share your laughter, watch your back, and dab your tears with a gentle cloth. Everybody's best pal, good ol' taken-for-granted, forgotten by Friday, nearly effeminate Dulcie Gluthor! (patent pending)

Mad enough to choke a buffalo . . .

Doolan Perchuppance was having a lousy day already, but having his coffee replaced by a tiny leprechaun really just was the final knot in the blanket. Shortly afterwards he returned to bed and slept for 37 days. Honestly, I'm disappointed in him.

Who's on the go?

Geez, Steve, what's your hurry? You'll get there, don't worry.

Unless there's a snow flurry . . .

Or a hung jury!

I'm so very surry . . .

Hobo, parte thee seconde

The second in my series of Hoboes, ol' "Buttermilk" here has been around the track a few times, and boy does he have some tales to tell. Unfortunately, he hates talking to people.