A Giant Scorpion

Of course, anyone who really pays any attention knows the truth: The Giant Scorpions were the actual heroes of Clash of the Titans. When you think about it.

Charon, a Ferryman

Ol' Mr. Charon here was a ferryman way back when being called a ferryman held no other connotations. It's probably for the best he never lived to this day, where such a title could be intentionally misconstrued and used in a hurtful manner. However, being a sort of walking dead, he really didn't dodge that bullet, like, at all. Probably why he speaks softly and carries that big stick.

The Vile Calibos!

Don't get me wrong, I'm not judging Calibos based on his unfortunate appearance. After all, that's a curse from Zeus and hardly his own fault at all. Neither am I judging his actions, which may not be excused but can certainly be understood when his situation is carefully considered. Certainly more misguided and slightly tragic than outright vile, one should think. But. He does live in an icky swamp.

That's vile.

Cerberus . . . or did he?

Cerberus, of myth, was an enormous 3-headed dog who guarded the gates of Hades (realm of the dead). In Clash of the Titans, on the other hand, Cerberus is a 2-headed wolf who hangs out in some ruins being a jerk. Which is the real truth? Only a Gallup poll could know for certain. And they haven't done one.

Soaring high in the sky . . . !

No, it's not Astro-Boy! It's Pegasus! What a swell April Fool's gag, setting you up with the misleading title, and then having you believe Astro-Boy had somehow been turned into a winged steed, not unlike the Pegasus himself! Only to find out that it's just the real Pegasus! Oh, how I have made the fool of you as April rises ahead of us.

Anyhow, here's Pegasus, from Clash of the Titans. Yay Titans! Pegasus is often represented to be galloping through the skies. That's ridiculous. Do birds trot along while flying? Does Superman run his legs around whilst soaring to the rescue? No! No! And so neither nor does Pegasus. He gives the ol' pins a rest and leaves 'em dangle like the useless things they are. That's just how it is.