Dan the Awful Astronaut

Dan meant well, and he was good at his job, but he nonetheless smelled permanently foul and had a voice like seventeen fingernails on twelve blackboards. He also had a tendency to tell rambling, overlong stories about polyps. It is for this reason especially that the other astronauts would regularly toss random tools out of the airlocks. Dan, being an eager beaver, would always rush out to retrieve said tools, and never once suspected.

All of this is true.