The History of the Phone - Part Fore

Wires, wires, wires!
All those wires, cords, cables and slinkies were just too much! And the number of fingertips lost to rotary dial accidentalities was growing by the decade. So it was decided to just get rid of all that crap and just assign everyone their own personal "walkie" "talkie", keyed to their specific DNA coding patterns. Neat-o!

Happy Season's Holidays

We interrupt the History of the Phone to bring you season's greetings.

Happy Xmas, y'all.

The History of the Phone - Part Three

Then they all got replaced with these. Charming and delightful.

The History of the Phone - Part 2

Having been found to produce no practical usefulness of any kind, the original telephone was sent to some crappy museum somewhere. The custodian, Jimmy Bimwassle, left it alone in a closet one day with a candlestick. Six months later, the product of that union was a viable hybrid which reproduced like hotcakes.

Now, at last, the world could talk to each other. Or itself. I'm not sure exactly how to phrase that . . .

The History of the Phone - Part I

The world's first phone (above) was discovered when a stout Welsh coal miner walloped an immense lump of coal with his pick axe. It was several years before scientists were able to connect it to a series of cables, wires and lines to equip it for service.

There was as yet still no one to call.

The Lonesome Cry of the Noble Pintklarn

Actually he just drank seven beers and ate a whole box of apples. That's why he's lonesome. Foul odours.

The Creepers are A-Creepin'

This is Gregory. He is sensitive, sincere, and dripping with affection. His hobbies include dirt-biking, figure skating, and table tennis. Never one to shy away from true romance, he loves to wine, dine, and dance the night away. Gregory is a Libra.

This is Donovan. He has a series of razor-sharp spines running down his back which he can use as weapons. His teeth are double-serrated, and his jaws can clamp shut with a pressure of 300 kg per square inch. Suitable prey includes washer-women, polecats, and park rangers. He is allergic to rocks and enjoys long walks by moonlight.

Erle

This is Erle. He does a damn fine job.

And friendly, too.

Hubert Spelgrass and The Mystery Time

Huey was concerned . . . he'd been working at the plant for several years now, and he'd never known Mr. Morton to be A) working this late, B) in any sort of a good mood, or C) a monster.
Something was afoul . . .